Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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