Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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