I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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