So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
