How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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