He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
