so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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