Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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