I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
