So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You've changed since you got that strap on
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
