it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
