hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
