Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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