So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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