so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
