bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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