We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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