Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
