we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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