we're blogging at a bar
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
