kristin has been a bad kristin
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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