If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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