Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
