So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
