4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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