small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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