I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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