it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
