brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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