walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
is that a dick in a sweater?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
