my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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