Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
