what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize