I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
