I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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