are you so shy because you have an std?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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