You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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