You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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