u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
