Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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