YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
