Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
