u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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