I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
