these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
