i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
