ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
