shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize