If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
