I skipped work to stalk him.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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