yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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