I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
