Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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