i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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