Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
