there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
