he puts the penis in happiness.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
