between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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