Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
