I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
