So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Randomize
